I watched the Ziwe/George Santos interview so you don't have to
Roll the highlights.
Amid a stately library decorated with Oriental rugs and a Birkin bag stuffed with cash, the former Gentleman From New York George Santos sat down with satirist comedian Ziwe for an exclusive tell-all interview. Doing her best Condoleezza Rice-meets-Olivia Pope, Ziwe asked the hard-hitting questions we’ve all been wondering: how many cosmetic procedures has Georgie had? What song would he sing in a lip sync battle? Will he make a storied return to public office? And whose baby was that?
Tea was spilt, looks were served, and even Ziwe was gagged at some points by the ex-Congressman’s one-liners. You can watch the full interview here stress-free, since Santos wasn’t paid for it (even though he asked three times to be). But if you’d rather not spend eighteen minutes platforming him, here are 10 things you missed from the dish with America’s favorite financial fraud.
1. Santos’ favorite gay historical figure is Bowen Yang.
Since he famously compared himself to Rosa Parks, Ziwe asked for Santos’ thoughts on other civil rights icons, starting with Marsha P. Johnson. “Respectful, honorable person,” Santos said of Johnson, whom he seemed not to recognize. Moving forward, Santos admitted he had no idea who either writer James Baldwin or politician Harvey Milk were. Notably, both were pioneering gay activists during the gay liberation movement, as was Johnson, a Black trans woman who threw the first brick at Stonewall. They were quite literally gay icons; but sadly, just randos to our former Congressman.
Ziwe then pivoted and asked how Santos felt about Bowen Yang’s impression of him on Saturday Night Live.
“I think he deserves an EGOT,” Santos responded.
2. Santos is a Barb.
“Are you a Nicki fan?”
Santos at first shied away from Ziwe’s attempts to get him to prove his Barb status, saying, “I’m not spitting verses for you.” But in the end, he couldn’t resist rapping the second line of Nicki’s verse on “Monster” when Ziwe threw him the hook. And honestly? He kind of ate. I wish Wendy Williams had been in the room.
3. Santos accepts the title “Messy Bitch.”
During a tirade against the “swampy slimy people” in Washington, Santos was interrupted by Ziwe, who posited that she would call him a “messy bitch that lives for drama.” Santos responded by asking her if she would make a pin and mail it to him, as he would wear a “messy bitch” pin any day.
“I will send you a gift as long as you declare it on your taxes,” Ziwe generously offered.
4. “I can probably make a Black baby on my own.”
Santos addressed the random baby he was seen carrying around the halls of Congress (when asked by reporters if the baby was his, Santos replied, “Not yet.”). Santos confirmed that he meant that the baby was not his, but that he hoped to have children at some point.
When asked if he planned to adopt Black, Santos said, “I wouldn’t be opposed. Especially cause I can probably make a Black baby on my own… cause I’m biracial.”
He then backtracked, saying, “I mean… physically. If I… used my sperm…”
“To impregnate a woman?” Ziwe provided.
“Yeah, I could,” Santos said. “That’s a high possibility. And I’d, uh, love it.”
At this point in the conversation, Santos made no mention of his alleged husband, Matt.
5. He thinks Gen Z loves Trump, who is, in his words, an icon.
“I love Gen Z,” Santos told Ziwe when asked if he would ever run for office as a Democrat. He hasn’t ruled out the possibility of seeking office again in the future, noting that he’ll outlive most of his colleagues who voted him out of the House, being allegedly younger than most other Members. But he probably won’t be running as a Dem––sorry, folks.
Santos did, however, concede that he loves the Gen Z progressives. “Because they’re the future,” Santos told Ziwe, “and they need to slay the boots house down [sic] in the future so that this country can be functional.”
“What does ‘slay the boots house down’ mean?” Ziwe asked.
“Like, conquer everything,” Santos said, possibly condoning a youth totalitarian overthrow of the country’s democratic system.
He repeated the ‘boots’ phrase a total of four times during the interview.
6. On war in the Middle East: It’s for a good cause.
Santos took the shocking and unprecedented position of being anti war (“I love peace”; “Peace is the best policy”) and anti ceasefire. When asked how he would bring peace to the Middle East, he answered, “Very simple. Eradicate all the terror cells.” He then proceeded to name Hamas, ISIS, and Al-Qaeda before apparently running out of names and saying, “The point is, if we go after all the terrorist organizations and cells, we will bring peace to the Middle East. Fact.”
“But… via war?” Ziwe asked.
“I mean, yeah. Sure,” Santos said. “It’s a good cause.”
Since he was also Secretary of State under the Obama Administration, and single-handedly responsible for taking out high-ranking foreign terrorists, it’s safe to say he knows what he’s talking about.
7. He thinks he could beat everyone in Congress in a lip sync battle, and he would not perform as Kitara Ravache, his “one-time” drag persona.
At a hypothetical Congressional lip sync battle (Hamilton?), Santos would perform Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” and he would beat everyone in Congress, not as Kitara Ravache, but as himself. He maintained that he’s only dressed in drag once, when he was 18 at a music festival.
“I wear far more makeup now than I did in that photo,” Santos quipped.
8. Santos has had Ozempic, Botox, and fillers, which he paid for because he works hard.
Santos confirmed he lost 100 pounds while on Ozempic, which he took “for A1C” reasons, in case you were worried he might be using it purely for self-serving purposes. He’s also apparently had Botox injections and fillers since he was 25. When asked how he paid for these procedures, Santos replied, “I’ve always worked, Ziwe. So my own money… Just like everything else I own,” thankfully putting the other theft allegations to rest.
9. “Would you rather steal from Ulta or Sephora?”
When asked the above question, the former Congressman replied, “Neither, I don’t do petty crimes.” Ziwe smiled. “White collar,” she said knowingly.
10. And finally, Santos read his haters.
“How do we get you to go away?” Ziwe asked at the end of the interview.
“Stop inviting me to your gigs,” Santos replied. “But you can’t. Cause people want the content.”